Sigh:(

Okay, so I hate for all of my blogs to be downers... but I am feeling a little down! I am starting off another school year without a job:(. I know that God has the right job for me, but it is so hard to see that when I am in the midst of this storm.  I have struggled to smile and not break down and cry when everyone asks excitedly "Did you get a job yet?!" And I have to say "No:(".  I am not really sure why I haven't.  Of course, satan has let self-doubt creep in at times, but I know that the right job is out there for me.  I just have to stand on my faith and stay true and know that He knows what is best for me.  I know that THIS is what I am meant to do, I love to teach.  I am passionate about it, I love children and I want to see them learn in new and exciting ways.  I also know that God has a plan for my life, he knows every application, resume, and interview or call that I will not get.  He knows all of my disappointments and pain.  But, the exciting thing is...He will be there to celebrate with me when I get that first job and I can celebrate with Him first and then my family who has stood by me through this tough journey!  Okay, so I started of blogging a downer, but I ended up cheering myself up:)!

I Miss Him

Tomorrow will be the eleven year anniversary of my sweet baby boy's death.  He would be a big 14 year old boy now.  While others in our nation are mourning "9/11", my family will be mourning our own 9/11.  I often look at other children his age and wonder what he would be like, would he be silly or serious? Would he have lots of friends or just one or two close friends?  Would he play sports, or just be content to hang out. What kind of music would he like?  Would he still have blonde hair, twinkling green eyes, and a smile that could melt your heart (of course he would)? Would he smell the same? What would he think of his little brothers and sister: Noah, Cade, and Grace?  I guess these are all simple things, but I can't help but get lost in these thoughts on some days.  My heart aches to hold him once more.  I miss him beyond words and want so much to see his sweet face.  I know that someday I will be reunited with him again.  I am so thankful that I have good memories to hang on to, and that by Divine Intervention we had one last weekend with him filled with lots of beautiful pictures to hold on to!  Logan Taylor Shoemaker, your Mommy loves you so much and misses you, I know you are smiling down on your family and I am looking forward to the day I meet my Savior and reunite with you in Heaven!

My First

I finally did it! I went and got myself a blog. I have visited others blogs, wondered if I had enough information to fill my own.  I guess we will see!  I will mostly talk about my family and my job search (which is depressing...anyone need a teacher?!).  Maybe, just maybe you will learn a thing or two about me:).